Mar 17 2010

Eternal Happiness is Just a Click Away.

Published by at 10:25 pm under Uncategorized

In the hectic lives of Americans no one has time to squeeze going to church in to a Sunday afternoon that could be spent at Starbucks or Twittering. Now you no longer need to waste such precious time when a simple solution will free up Sundays for you while guaranteeing you a spot behind those pearly gates. For either $12.79 or $24.95 you can receive a Reserve a Spot in Heaven- All Access Kit, this will place your name on an exclusive list that will provide you with all you need to get in supplies. You will receive a First class ticket to Heaven, heavenly issued certificate of reservation with a unique I.D. number registered in the Book of Light, an Official Heaven Identification Card (“so you can get around without getting hassled”), and your own personal Heaven 101 mini informational guide. With the $24.95 edition you receive VIP pass that will grant you access to exclusive areas including Land of Milk and Honey and Thug Mansion. Time has become such an important asset to our society it is ashamed to waste the precious time we have on this Earth going to church. The best thing about this amazing package is that it’s a win-win for you because they offer a 100% back guarantee for anyone turned down at the gates. No one wants to risk eternal damnation so this offer is a valuable offer to both your present life and your afterlife. So just purchase and go up.

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